By Kym Byrd, BS Psychology
Byrdhouse Ministries
Co- Founder & Executive Director
To Retire or Not to Retire?
After 15 years of baseball life, I found myself at the most peculiar location…HOME!
After contemplating retirement and negotiating several contract offers, Paul decided to stay home, and spend the spring with us. I was torn. Half of me was throwing this grand party inside.
Finally after all of these years we can enjoy “normal life,” dinner at home, and a two parent household; and my life wouldn’t be dictated by a pocket schedule! But there was another part of me that was sad and concerned. Who would Paul be with out baseball? Would he drive me crazy being around ALL the time? Will we make it?
As it turned out we were only temporary retired from February-August, it was like “A Christmas Carol.” But, it gave us a chance to see the following glimpses of retirement and life as an MLB alumnus.
Glimpse #1: Don’t wait until later. All these years issues would arise in my marriage I would struggle with when to deal with them. It was always so appealing to wait until the season was over, wait until the kids got older, and wait until we had the time, wait until we are retired. After being home, six months together I realized that those issues don’t magically disappear. They fester and fester and then when you do have all this free time it all comes out. Much like when the kids go to college, you experience an empty nest feeling. We needed to learn to sync our lives together, make decisions, raise our kids together and share the same space 24/7.
Glimpse #2: Be involved in your estate. We lived below our means or so I thought. I figured we would be great and live happily ever after. But circumstances changed. We had a good friend steal from us. We had money with an investment firm that’s president ran a Ponzi scheme. Not to mention the economy is not in the best shape. So I decided to start using Quicken. We began to track where our money went. We began to consolidate things and simplify. We had no idea what and where things were. We just trusted that everything was being taken care of. Only YOU can take care of your affairs. Know what and where things are going. Baseball can bring amazing blessings to your life. However it is short lived so you want to make the most of it. One of my favorite quotes is from Horatio on CSI:Miami, “Trust and then verify.” We have to have people manage things but we can verify and make sure everything is on the up and up. Live simpler and enjoy what you have for years to come.
Glimpse#3: Put your People first. Something that has been really eye opening is that when you are retired it’s just you and your family. We gave so much of our time to all the demands others had on us. Tickets, auction items, speaking engagements, individual time with everyone. But who suffers while all this is going on? For us we finally could see that our kids were playing video games too much and even when we were there we were way too preoccupied. Now I am sure my kids will be in counseling for something we have done. But I would hate for all their memories of us to be holding a cell phone. So we are putting the phones down more, teaching the kids manners and spending quality time together. Racquetball has become a regular family event.
Glimpse#4: Remember to be grateful for baseball too. While we were playing it was so easy to focus on what I hated about the lifestyle. Road trips I didn’t get to go on. Single parenting. A long season. But being away, I was able to see more of the good as well. On those long road trips I got to read and work on me. I truly lived in 50 different places. I made great friends. And so many people along the way were supporting me through the long season. I realized that I got to live this amazing adventure and witness my husband actually live out his boyhood dream. And I would not have the character, heart and growth I have had I not lived this crazy life of baseball. While you are in it, it seems like an eternity. But it goes by faster than you think.
All I can do is share my crazy perspective. I don’t know if our money will last till we die. I don’t know if Paul will play in August again. I don’t know if I’ll be cool again to my kids someday. But what I do know is that I see baseball with fresh eyes. And what I see is that I have so much. It inspires me to make the most of it. So whether you are just getting started, been in baseball forever or like me phasing out remember take a good look at where you are and be mindful about your future.
Kym Byrd has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Louisiana State University. She is certified in life coaching by both North Star Life Coaching and the Professional Christian Coaches and Counseling Association. Her passion to assist in growing healthy marriages led her to pilot the Strong Marriages in Sports Research Project, which studied marriages of 100 Major League Baseball players and their wives. She has appeared on numerous radio shows sharing her unique perspective on surviving the pro sports world and a career dominated marriage. Kym and her husband, Paul, Emmy award-winning broadcaster, best-selling author, and former MLB Pitcher. The couple often speaks to college students all over the northeast about faith, true intimacy, and authenticity.
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